Whole Hearted

When your heart is broken, it’s easy to get overwhelmed by all the pieces scattered in grief, uncertainty, and raw pain. Each shard a part of your identity, you stare at them, at a loss for what to do. You could glue them together, and paint the whole mess to look normal. But since you don’t know what normal is for you any more, you’ll have to keep painting it to look like what you think everyone’s expectations of you are. Or, you could just put them all in a box, and keep telling everyone who sees something different about you there’s nothing wrong. You’ll quickly become an expert in deflecting people to the shallow end of your life. Including yourself.

Or, you could find the one piece that knows God loves you—truly, wholly, unrelentingly loves you. It’s also the piece with the core of who you are inside it. You could hold it, cautiously using it to help you think, and feel, and breathe again. When you’ve tested it enough to remember you can truly trust Jesus, you could hold it out to him, and make yourself vulnerable to the one person who can use that piece to join and heal the rest. Not a heart put back just as it was, but a new one, strengthened in joy, softened in peace, and empowered to receive and give love.

“Teach me your ways, Lord, so I can walk in your truth again. Unite the pieces of my heart, and restore me to live in awe of you. O Lord my God, I want to praise and honor you with a truly whole heart” (Psalm 86:11-12, paraphrase).

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