You are who God says you are. You are never what fear, disappointment, and pain shout at you. Every time you surrender to a negative view of yourself, you stuff your identity into boxes to protect yourself from being hurt by what might go wrong. And every time, those boxes have less and less room for faith, hope, and love.
Get rid of the boxes. Burn them. You do that by agreeing with what God says in his word and your heart about your true identity in him. About your job, house, car, and bills. And about your family, friends, and the guy who just cut you off on the highway.
Make decisions based on his peace and joy, rather than on just pros and cons. Develop a new habit of recognizing all the ways God is showing you his goodness, rather than looking for what could go wrong.
You don’t need to tell me how difficult this seems. I know. I’m a recovering what-might-go-wrong addict. But in God’s grace, you can do it. Let your joy be determined by his infinite delight in you, instead of by the limits of what others think you’ve performed well enough to be joyful about. You are who God says you are.